yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
