this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
