Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
