SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
