she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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