dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize