trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
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Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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