Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize