Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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