Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
