the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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