Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
