My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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