what day is it and did you see me today?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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