so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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