she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize