With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
