omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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