porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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