She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
