Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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