I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Randomize
