Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
