I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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