I bet he comes in French.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
