i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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