i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
