I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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