we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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