I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
