Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
