He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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