well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
