Duck Duck Cougar?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
