Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
