Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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