dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
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I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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