Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
