Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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