Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
