Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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