Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
