her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
