Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish you could order shots online.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
