I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
