TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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