Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize