We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
