I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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