I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
