I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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