Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
