Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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