so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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