Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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