Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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