I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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