it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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