i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
