laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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