Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize