I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize