i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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