I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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